First of all, let me tell you how my workouts went this week. BIG. FAT. FAILURE.
Monday, I started out on the right track by waking up and knocking out an hour-long Jazzercise Dancin' Abs DVD. Tuesday, I had all intentions of going to spin class, but then I decided that it would be gross to spin for 45 minutes, work, and go to my hair appointment. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind going a few hours before showering after a workout. Sorry if this is nasty, but I'm not really sorry. Often, I'll get in a workout before work, then work for three or four hours and shower when I get home afterwards. I should probably mention that I now work at the gym where I workout, so maybe this seems a little less weird. I work in the Kids' Club taking care of kiddos while their parents are working out. Anyways, yeah. Tuesday set the tone for my workouts the rest of the week.
Wednesday was a scheduled day off, but I spent the day feeling sick. I still wasn't feeling so hot when I went to bed, so I decided that it would be best to get some extra rest on Thursday morning before work. AKA, I didn't hit up kickboxing class. Then came Friday. I really have no excuse here, so I won't even try. And what about today? I woke up early enough to workout, but decided to spend two hours working on my education portfolio instead. I can't deny that this was time well spent, since the whole shebang has to be done by October 31st, but I really need to get back on track with my workouts.
Advice? Help! Someone? Anyone?
Honestly, I know what I need to be doing, but for some reason I can't get motivated. I'm not going to lie. I really miss the old me who was super motivated to workout everyday, eat healthy, and lose weight. It's not that I am unhappy with my body, but I am disappointed that I never finished what I started. I never reached my goal weight. I never lost that last 15 pounds. And now I have gained some weight back and am kicking myself for it. Hard. But for some reason, I am not doing anything about it.
I live a happy life. I have an amazing boyfriend, fabulous friends, and great family. I'm doing awesome in school. I have a good job at a place that is full of people who are working to live a healthy lifestyle. I am finally teaching dance, which has always been a dream for me. But some reason, I am afraid that I will never be happy with my body.
I don't want to be a slave to my weight for the rest of my life. But I want to be healthy and confident. I need to do this for me. But what will it take?
On the upside, check out my new kicks.
I have a weird addiction to workout shoes and clothes. The kind that lots of girls have with dress clothes and heels. You'd think maybe they would encourage me to workout more. Touche.
Also, check out this adorable picture of me and Brad with my mom. She leaves for Australia on Wednesday. No, not for vacation. To move there permanently. The things we do for love.
I'd be lying if I said I won't miss her. But she'll always be my mom, and I'll always lover her, whether she is in the same room or across the world.
Finally, you know that I can't get enough of this little man.
Reppin' the Brew Crew. Go Brewers!
Also, you should really know that I did not write this post as a pity party. I don't expect sympathy from anyone. I feel like I'm mostly writing lately as a wake-up call for myself. A wake-up call that doesn't seem to be working so well yet. Still, words of encouragement are always welcome.
